After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
