I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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