Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
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We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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