I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
