Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.