Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
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he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.