Jerry, you need to find god
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.