Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
