Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My feet surprised me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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