I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize