at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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