WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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