Where did you get a picture of my penis
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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