btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
