my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
