its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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