return my video game
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sobbing to NWA
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
