how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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