i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He passed out mid-signature
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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