Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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