You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
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You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sorry about my life...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow