Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
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Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!