I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.