people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together