i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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