I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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