Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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