Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize