I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
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I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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