i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
