random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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