Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize