she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Found the puke drawer
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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