i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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