I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?