I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...