you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
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Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
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I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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