I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Its about making memories worth repressing
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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