I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
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Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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