there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize