There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
