She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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