ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
