Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize