i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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