maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
