he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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