she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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