I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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