I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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