U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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