we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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