Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
