so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"