Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
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Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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