I wish I could punch you in the face.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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